Emotions Run High

"I have pretty much run the range of emotions the past few days. China is beautiful,and has history that runs so far back...I can't tell you what it was like to stand on the Great Wall, or the Forbidden CIty.

 

Reese has been a trooper. I don't feel like I adequately prepared her for the situations she encountered in Taiyuan. We went back to the Taiyuan SWI on Friday. My first visit there, and her first time there since she was 2 1/2 years old (or younger). The gates of the SWI are where she was found.

The work they do there is incredible. The number of children they deal with is incredible, but even more so when you realize that this region has a higher than average number of births of "special-needs" children. I was allowed to hold a little baby, probably less than a year old. He had the features of a Down's Syndrome baby, and let me tell you, that toothless grin melted me on the spot. Many of these children are not considered adoptable because their disabilities are mental, rather than physical.

 

In the last few days I have become more aware of Reese "processing" things. She gets quiet, and you can almost see the wheels turning in her head, as she absorbs the situation and surroundings. I saw this at the SWI, because she didn't become as animated as usual. They were thrilled to see her, and we promised to come back.

 

I was so sad when we left. I felt like I was leaving so many children behind. It was the the very first place we know of where Reese existed, physically. It was hard to go there, and hard to leave. I didn't know how to resolve the emotions I was feeling. I promised them we would come back before so long.

 

The next day we had plans to meet a friend from Little Rock, Hannah Brown, who used to be one of the coaches at River City Gymnastics. We don't know Hannah very well, except that we have been more in touch once we found out that she was coming to China to teach English....in Taiyuan. She had mentioned in an email that she volunteers at an orphanage in Taiyuan once a week. I didn't think there was more than one in Taiyuan,but I didn't know, and I hoped we would get more information when we met her.

 

We met for lunch at McDonald's in Taiyuan. We were sharing our trip to the SWI, and she pulled out her camera to show me a photo of the one she works at....the same one we had been to the day before. She left at 11:30and we got there at 2:30.

On the same day.

At the same orphanage.

I can't tell you how this affected both of us. Here, I wanted some continued connection to Taiyuan SWI, and Hannah is there every Friday. She walks past the gate where my baby was found.

 

 

As if that wasn't enough excitement for the day, we had plans to meet the family that fostered Reese for her last six months in China.

I was excited to finally meet them (Monica met them in 2009). Again, more emotions (aka tears). I could not imagine how they felt seeing her again after 6 1/2 years. I could tell they wanted to scoop her up and hug her. They shared stories (through our interpreter) and we shared stories, too. They showered her with gifts, and fruit, and as much love as we could fit into two hours. As we left, I promised them we would not wait so long to come back, and that we would visit more when we did.

((I'm going to have to look and find the pictures we have of these two together 6.5 years ago- Monica))

 

It was hard to leave Taiyuan again. We were just getting familiar with the area, had found a little store, were pretty sure there was a Walmart close by (within walking distance, even though our guide said it was "far away").

 

Tonight, we are in our third hotel in less than a week. They put us in the smallest room they have (seriously-I have stayed in a Motel 6 with more space-no kidding). We couldn't order room service like our guide told us to, because my Chinese is better than  their English. We went walking, trying to find fast food or a coke (the one in the mini-bar expired last March, and it wasn't cold anyway). We discovered we can open the window to our room and it is cool enough outside that I hope to have ice crystals in the two bottles I sat on the window sill. We went to the front desk and tried to order room service,and wound up eating american food in the Chinese restaurant. I decided to be proactive about the room situation (the thought of one day cooped up in that little room worried me). I emailed our agency person, and she got in touch with our guide, who worked it out for us to go look at another (bigger)room (same price). We plan on moving tomorrow.

 

All of this whining is masquerading my intense anticipation and excitement about getting our new daughter tomorrow.  I hope she is not disappointed when we get home, and she finds out we don't live in a 3/4/5 star hotel. I hope she and Reese love each other and don't irritate each other to pieces for the next two weeks. I hope she is as happy to have us as her parents as we are to be her parents. "

 

Cheryl

Visit with Reese's foster family

Here's a compilation of Mom's Facebook statuses from the day. 

"If you think the world is a big place, you are wrong. Strangers are just neighbors you haven't met yet. Taiyuan is now a city of 4 million people. I will post more later, but if you have any doubt about the red thread, I will make a believer out of you."

"Went to visit Reese's foster family. So many emotions. Thankful she had such a loving start. Sad for these people that they don't get to experience her every day. Thankful that james got to be there also. It's amazing to watch her processing these new situations. Less than two days until we meet our newest daughter. "

"More on the red thread-Reese takes gymnastics in Little Rock. This past summer we found out one of the coaches (Hannah) would be coming to China to teach English. In all of the places in China that she could teach....she is teaching in Taiyuan! So-we made plans to visit her yesterday. We knew that she volunteered in an orphanage but she wasn't sure of the name. She showed us a photo...IT'S THE SAME ORPHANAGE!!!!! I was so sad on Friday because I knew it would be a long time before we came back. We both has tears in our eyes when I realized that every week she helps with babies where Reese WAS a baby. It's a small world, folks, it's a small world."

Visit to Taiyuan SWI

Mom, Dad, and Reese took the train to Taiyuan from Beijing. It was a bullet train so it only took about 2.5 hours. It was a good experience. 

From Cheryl (Mom):

"I think we picked the perfect age to bring Reese back to China. The language she wasn't interested in re-learning, she is now excited about. To see her move about in crowds of people, happy and confident, not afraid, makes the two years she spent at home with her dad,  so worth it. She had not expressed any real anticipation about getting a new little sister, but now she is wanting to get her,"so I can braid her hair and put make-up on her."

I cried before we even got in the gate at the Taiyuan SWI.  Knowing that's the earliest place we know that Reese lived, knowing that Monica had  visited there in 2009, knowing that it was the decision of the people there that got Reese the care she needed, and the family that every child deserves, was emotionally overwhelming. 
I should have coached Reese more on how to act. She was not as friendly as I had hoped until we got ready to leave.  But her emotions and her actions were her way of dealing with the situation. 

As we left, we took pictures at the gate  where she was found. One picture will tear at my soul forever. The picture SHE took, with her camera, of the giraffe she had been given. On the ground, where someone placed her, soon after she was born, to be found and cared for. 

Today will be an emotional day as well. We will meet with the second foster family she had. The one here in Taiyuan. The one she considered her parents until the day Monica and I showed up to tear her away from everything she had known.

I have nothing but gratitude for the Taiyuan SWI and China Care (the organization that took care of her medical needs until she came to us). "

The giraffe Reese  was given in the lobby of the Wanda Vista

Taiyuan SWI was supposed to get a new orphanage in the next 2 years but a new mayor decided not to do that. The SWI was built in 1953. Instead, they're building this little building to house abandoned children out of the elements. They have some 600 kids in their care, many of whom have severe needs and aren't considered adoptable. But there are 60 kids from the orphanage with their files at the C3WA. 

Cats in Shanxi have great difficulty remaining white. This kitty was at the SWI. 

Faculty at the SWI

At the gates of the SWI (Reese was abandoned at these gates)

Outside the front of the SWI

Inside the SWI 

The SWI

Reese at breakfast at the Wanda Vista

Blogging time limited...

This is Cheryl, the mom. The group of course is in Taiyuan, but they only have one ethernet cord for the computers, so they are having to share computer time around the other activities they have going on. So- not sure when Monica will update, but I am looking forward to it!

Reese enjoyed looking at the pictures of her foster family posted on the blog. I was a little concerned she might have some sleep issues afterwards, but it did not seem to cause her any problems. In the past, whenever we have reminisced over pictures from the adoption trip, a lot of times she would have night terrors that night.

Thanks again to Beth Gore for planning this trip, and to Andrea and Melanie for going along, too.

Itinerary for China- We Leave in NINE Days!

March 13- We leave for China. I'm going Little Rock to Newark, where I'll meet up with Beth, Melanie, and Andrea, who are flying in from Orlando. Then we're all flying from Newark to Beijing.

March 14- We land in China at 2 pm. Which is 1 am CST. We then go to the hotel, Holiday Inn Express, one of 5 in Beijing. Then we'll clean up, find food, and crash.

March 15- We're going to the Mutianyu section of the Great Wall. Which is a different section than I went to last time (yays!). I went to Juyuyuan last time. We'll probably do a few other things, too, like a tea ceremony or something. Dinner with the sponsor of Dale Carnegie in Beijing. Beth, Melanie, and Andrea all have connections to Dale Carnegie.

March 16- Visiting the Olympic Village, Tiananmen Square, and the Forbidden City, as well as spend a few hours at the China Care Home in Beijing. Both Reese, and Beth's daughter, Zoe, were cared for by China Care in Shanxi.

March 17- Visiting New Day Creations Foster Home just outside Beijing. Then we'll fly from Beijing to Taiyuan, arriving in Taiyuan at about 9:30 pm. (about 8:30 am CST). A car ride through Taiyuan to the Shanxi Grand Hotel and then crash.

March 18- We go to buy supplies for the Taiyuan Social Welfare Institute (orphanage) where Reese was from. Then we'll go drop off the supplies and visit the orphanage. Reese was left by her birthmother at the gates of this orphanage.

March 19- Going on a 2.5 hour trip to Hong Tong in the southwest corner of Shanxi province. It's a village just a bit north on Linfen, the orphanage Zoe was from. We're going to take supplies there and spend most of the day there.

March 20- Today we're going to the ancient walled city of Pingyao, about 2 hours south of Taiyuan. We'll also take supplies to the local orphanage, Jinzhong, and visit as long as they'll let us.

March 21- Today we fly from Taiyuan to Beijing, and the Beijing to Newark. We leave Beijing at 4 pm (3 am CST), then I fly on to Dallas from Newark, and Beth, Melanie, and Andrea will fly back to Orlando. My parent will pick me up at Dallas.

A Year Ago Today...

Coming into the room

The long hallway

Michelle and me trying to calm her down

A year ago today, we were in a raggedy van on our way to the Civil Affairs office in Taiyuan. That had to be one of the longest rides ever. I distinctly remember crossing the river that cuts Taiyuan down the middle, the Huang He (Yellow) River, I believe. The bridge was probably as long as the one that crosses the Arkansas River that we go over every so often. There was a large dragon statue in the middle of the river that was made to look like the dragon was winding up and down in the river. Pretty nifty. I also remember a big gold building, probably 4-6 stories tall and big! It was the Shanxi Provincial History Museum, which I would have loved to go to. I also remember what appeared to be a large alley with a blow-up gate with Chinese characters on it. I didn't ask what they said, but what with the large amounts of balloons and a general carnival type atmosphere, I assume it was something to do with Children's Day which was only a few days away. We actually saw a Children's Day celebration at the hotel across the street from our hotel later in the week. Finally, we got to the Civil Affairs Office. We went up to the 3rd floor, I think it was, maybe the 4th, and walked down a long hallway, with no lights on. The only light was from a large window at the end of the hallway. We then waited outside the Shanxi Province Foreign Adoption Administration Office, as no one was there yet to unlock the door. Finally, the notary, I believe it was, arrived and let us in. And I paced. And stared out the large windows down to the ground to see if I saw anyone coming in with a little girl. And paced some more. Then paced back to windows. They were running late. I read the English parts of the board about adoption and the board about marriage in the room. It was a kind of dingy room, fairly large, not really decorated, save for the big boards on the wall, and the windows were kind of grimy, but given the pollution that is common place in Shanxi, washing them all the time probably would have been a waste of time. I walked in between the windows and the couch for what seemed like forever. After looking at her picture for a year, what was another 30 minutes, really, but still. Finally, I heard a little girl crying and people talking in Chinese from down the hall. Somehow, in my pacing to the window and back, I had missed her coming in. She came in carried by a nanny, if I remember right, from the orphanage. The orphanage she had only spent 2 months in at the beginning of her life as an orphan, and the last week of it. I guess they told her what was going on, because Reese was very upset. Our guide took her from the nanny and tried to calm her down. I tried to play with her. I gave her Lifesavers, which she liked, but she continued sobbing. I tried a camel a person on my Mom or Dad's route had given her. It was very soft. She didn't like it. To this day, she doesn't like it. Bad association, I suppose. We tried letting Mom hold her, that made it worse. Finally, she passed out in Michelle, our guide's lap. We let her sleep there while we did some paperwork. Finally we had to take the adoption certificate picture. To do so, Michelle slipped Reese into Mom's lap on the floor. Sadly, we had to wake Reese up for the picture. So she's crying in our adoption certificate picture. She shut down for a little while, but apparently, she'd done the majority of her mourning there at the Civil Affairs Office. She was fairly quiet the whole way back to the hotel. At the hotel, we tried to get her to take a nap, but she refused. So she "watched" cartoons, and we changed her clothes and put the ones she came to us up. I'd love to take a picture of her in them now, but I'm worried it would upset her...or she wouldn't want to take them off. We then went to Wal-Mart.

I'm gonna try to take some pictures of her later this evening for her Gotcha/Forever Day.